Common Loops the Mind Creates
Working with (not against) mental patterns
The spiritual path isn’t a straight line. More often, it feels like walking in circles.
We have a profound insight. We feel at peace. We think, “Finally, I’ve got it.”
And then, two days later, we’re stuck in the same old frustration, feeling like a total failure.
We know, intellectually, that “being is enough.” We’ve read about the “isness.” We understand, in theory, that we don’t need to prove ourselves.
But the mind keeps running its old programs. The same thoughts loop endlessly:
- “I’m not doing this right.”
- “I’m not spiritual enough.”
- “Other people have figured this out, why can’t I?”
- “Nothing I do matters anyway.”
These mental patterns can feel like traps. Like we’ve fallen into a hole we can’t climb out of. Like evidence that we’re failing at this whole spirituality thing.
But what if they’re not traps at all?
What if they’re just… loops? Familiar grooves the mind falls into, like a wheel running in a well-worn track?
And what if the practice isn’t about never falling into these loops, but about learning to notice when we have—with kindness, with curiosity, with a gentle “ah, there it is again”?
The Loops Are Not Your Fault
Before we go any further, let’s be absolutely clear:
These mental patterns aren’t your fault. They aren’t “bad” or “unspiritual.” They aren’t evidence that you’re doing something wrong.
They are the mind’s automatic habits. They are the grooves carved by years of cultural conditioning, personal history, and the simple fact of having a human brain.
Everyone experiences these loops. The person who seems “enlightened” experiences them. The meditation teacher experiences them. I experience them.
The difference isn’t whether you fall into these patterns. It’s whether you notice them, and what you do when you do.
We’re not here to “break” these habits. We’re not here to wage war on your mind.
We’re here to shine a gentle light on these patterns. To get curious about them. To work with them, not against them.
Loop 1: Spiritual Perfectionism
What it feels like:
“I’m not doing it right.”
You managed five minutes of meditation, but you “should” have done an hour. You still get angry, even though you’re “supposed to be” beyond that. You read about “zero-energy noticing” but then feel bad because you’re trying to notice, which means you’re still doing something, which means you’re failing at not-doing.
You look at your spiritual practice like a report card, and you’re always falling short.
You’ve turned spirituality into another way to beat yourself up.
The gentle inquiry:
When you notice this loop, pause. Ask yourself: “Who said?”
Where did this “perfect” standard come from? Who decided you should meditate for an hour? Who said spiritual people don’t get angry?
Is this standard helping you, or is it just the inner critic wearing spiritual robes?
The reframe:
What if spirituality isn’t about becoming a “perfect” being, but about becoming a whole one?
What if the practice isn’t to never feel anger, but to be able to hold that anger with compassion and curiosity for the first time? To notice it without immediately adding a second layer of “shame about being angry”?
Five minutes of present awareness is complete. It’s not “less than” an hour. It’s just five minutes. And that’s enough.
Working with it:
Next time you notice this loop, try this:
Celebrate what you did do, however small. “I noticed one breath. That’s complete.”
When difficult emotions arise, practice saying: “There’s anger. That’s allowed to be here.” Not “I shouldn’t be angry,” but simply “anger is present.”
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s wholeness. And wholeness includes the messy, imperfect, human parts.
Loop 2: Spiritual Bypassing
What it feels like:
You use spiritual concepts to avoid dealing with difficult reality.
“Everything happens for a reason.” (So I don’t have to feel grief about what was lost.)
“We’re all one consciousness.” (So I don’t have to care about individual suffering.)
“They just need to raise their vibration.” (So I don’t have to acknowledge systemic oppression.)
“I’m above politics.” (So I can feel special and disconnected from the world’s problems.)
It sounds spiritual. It feels like wisdom. But there’s a subtle turning away. A using of truth to hide rather than to heal.
The gentle inquiry:
When you notice this pattern, ask: “Am I using this truth to hide or to heal?”
Is this concept disconnecting me from humanity, or deepening my compassion for it?
Am I using “oneness” to bypass my very real heartbreak about suffering? Am I using “everything is perfect” to avoid feeling the pain of what isn’t?
The reframe:
True spirituality embraces both truths:
Absolute truth: We are all one consciousness. In the deepest sense, there is no separation, no “other,” no real suffering.
Relative truth: My heart breaks for the world’s pain. My rent is due. People are really hurting. The climate is really collapsing.
The spiritual path isn’t choosing one over the other. It’s learning to live at the intersection of both.
You can know, deeply, that “all is well” at the ultimate level and let your heart shatter for what’s happening at the human level.
These aren’t contradictions. They’re complementary.
Working with it:
Next time you notice yourself using spiritual language to avoid feeling something difficult, pause.
Let yourself feel it. Let your heart break. See that pain not as “unspiritual” but as the direct evidence of your connection to the whole.
The goal isn’t transcendence. It’s integration. Holding both the absolute and the relative with an open heart.
Loop 3: Spiritual Materialism
What it feels like:
The ego co-opts your spiritual search for its own achievement project.
“If I just read one more book… go on one more retreat… master this one technique… meet that one guru… then I’ll be awakened.”
Spirituality becomes a consumer product. Enlightenment becomes a goal to achieve. You’re collecting spiritual experiences like trading cards.
There’s always one more thing to learn, one more practice to master, one more milestone to reach. The “arrival” keeps getting pushed further into the future.
The gentle inquiry:
When you notice this loop, ask: “Am I seeking an experience or am I practicing presence?”
Am I trying to acquire something new, or notice what’s already here?
Is this search deepening my peace, or creating more restlessness?
The reframe:
This isn’t a treasure hunt for something “out there.” It’s a “treasure noticing” of what’s right here.
The breath. The feeling of your feet on the ground. The sound of a bird. The simple fact of existing.
You don’t need another book to notice these things. You don’t need another retreat. You don’t need a guru’s permission.
The “isness” is here now. It’s always been here. No amount of seeking will bring you closer to what you already are.
Working with it:
Try this experiment: For one day, don’t consume any new spiritual content. No books. No podcasts. No articles. No videos.
Just practice with what you already know. The “zero-energy noticing.” The pause. The breath.
Notice what happens. Notice the mind’s restlessness. Notice its desire for “more.”
And then notice: This noticing—right here, right now—is the practice. This is it. There’s nothing more to get.
Loop 4: The Spiritual Dead-End (Nihilism)
What it feels like:
This one often comes after a genuine insight into non-duality or emptiness.
“If ‘I’ don’t really exist… what’s the point of anything?”
“If it’s all an illusion, nothing matters. Why bother helping the world? Why bother with anything?”
The insight that was supposed to be liberating becomes paralyzing. Meaning dissolves into meaninglessness.
The gentle inquiry:
When you notice this loop, ask: “Is this ‘meaningless’ or is it ‘open’?”
Has meaning truly vanished, or has prescribed, artificial meaning vanished, leaving a beautiful, open space?
Is this freedom or depression? (Sometimes it’s hard to tell, and that’s okay.)
The reframe:
The universe doesn’t hand you a pre-packaged meaning. It hands you a blank canvas.
The absence of imposed meaning isn’t the end of meaning. It’s the beginning of authentic meaning.
You get to choose. You get to create. You get to decide what matters to you.
The fact that there’s no cosmic “should” doesn’t mean nothing matters. It means you get to determine what matters.
Working with it:
When the nihilistic loop appears, bring it down from the cosmic to the concrete.
Don’t ask “what’s the ultimate meaning of existence?” Ask instead: “What makes me feel connected right now?”
What brings you aliveness? Even small things. Music. Building something. Caring for a plant. Talking to a friend.
The “point” isn’t a cosmic destination. It’s the simple, human act of engaging with life. Of choosing connection over isolation. Of creating meaning through your choices.
As we’ve explored elsewhere on this site: the totality is in the twig. Meaning isn’t found in grand cosmic purposes. It’s found in full presence with this moment, this breath, this small act of care.
Loop 5: The “I’m Not Enough” Spiral
What it feels like:
Despite everything you’ve learned about “being is enough,” the mind keeps insisting you’re falling short.
“Other people are further along than me.”
“I should be healed by now.”
“If I were really spiritual, I wouldn’t still struggle with this.”
“Everyone else seems to have it figured out.”
This loop is particularly insidious because it uses your own spiritual understanding against you. You know you’re enough, which means the fact that you don’t feel enough becomes more evidence that you’re failing.
The gentle inquiry:
Ask: “What would it feel like to be ‘enough’?”
Really sit with this. What are you imagining? A state of permanent peace? Never feeling insecure? Always knowing what to do?
Is that realistic? Is that even what you actually want? Or is it just another version of the “perfect” standard?
The reframe:
The statement “being is enough” doesn’t mean you’ll always feel enough. It means your worth isn’t contingent on feeling good about yourself.
You’re enough when you’re insecure. You’re enough when you’re confused. You’re enough when you’re comparing yourself to others and coming up short.
The “enough-ness” isn’t a feeling. It’s a fact. Like gravity. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in it or not.
Working with it:
When this loop appears, try radical permission:
“I give myself permission to feel like I’m not enough. That feeling is allowed. And even with that feeling present, my being is still complete.”
The goal isn’t to convince yourself you’re enough. The goal is to notice that your worth exists independently of your self-evaluation.
The Loop of Noticing Loops
Here’s the meta-loop: You start noticing these patterns in yourself, and then you feel bad about having the patterns.
“Great, now I’m spiritually bypassing. I’m falling into all these traps. I can’t even recognize mental patterns without turning it into another thing to fail at.”
Notice this? This is the mind doing what it does. It’s trying to turn “noticing” into another achievement project.
But here’s the thing: Noticing is the practice.
You’re not supposed to stop having these loops. You’re just practicing noticing them more quickly, more kindly.
The Practice Is the Noticing
The spiritual path isn’t about achieving a state where these loops never appear. It’s about shortening the time between falling into the loop and recognizing you’re in it.
Maybe at first you spend days in the “spiritual perfectionism” loop before you notice. Then it’s hours. Then it’s minutes. Eventually it’s seconds—you start to feel that familiar contraction and you recognize: “Ah, there it is again.”
That recognition—that simple, gentle “ah, there it is”—is the work. That’s the whole practice.
You don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to make it go away. You just notice. You bring awareness to the pattern.
And in that noticing, something shifts. Not always dramatically. Not always immediately. But something loosens.
The loop loses its grip when it’s seen. Not fought, not suppressed, not transcended. Just seen.
Working With vs. Working Against
The title of this piece is “working with” these patterns, not “working against” them.
Working against means:
- Trying to eliminate the pattern
- Judging yourself for having it
- Fighting with your own mind
- Treating the pattern as an enemy
Working with means:
- Noticing when the pattern appears
- Getting curious about it
- Meeting it with kindness
- Learning from it
These patterns aren’t obstacles. They’re teachers. Each one reveals something about how your mind works, what you’re afraid of, where you’re holding tension.
The “spiritual perfectionism” loop? It’s showing you where you haven’t given yourself permission to be human.
The “bypassing” loop? It’s showing you where vulnerability feels too scary.
The “materialism” loop? It’s showing you the mind’s hunger for certainty, for arrival.
The “nihilism” loop? It’s showing you where meaning needs to be created, not found.
When you work with these patterns instead of against them, they become part of the path instead of obstacles to it.
The Loop Is the Path
You will fall into these loops. I promise you. I do. Everyone does.
They are not signs that you’ve “left the path.” They are the path.
The spiritual journey isn’t about transcending your humanness. It’s about being human with more awareness, more compassion, more space.
Every time you notice a loop—without judgment, without shame, just a gentle recognition—you’re doing the work.
That’s it. That’s the whole practice.
Not perfection. Just noticing.
Not transcendence. Just awareness.
Not arrival. Just this moment of recognition.
So the next time you find yourself in one of these familiar grooves—the perfectionism, the bypassing, the seeking, the meaninglessness, the “not enough”—try this:
Pause.
Notice: “Ah, there it is. That’s the loop.”
And then, if you can, smile.
Not a mocking smile. A kind one. The way you might smile at a friend who’s telling you the same story for the hundredth time. With affection. With understanding.
“There you are again, old friend.”
And then, gently, come back to what’s here. The breath. The body. The “isness” that’s always present, whether the loops are running or not.
That’s enough. You’re enough. Even in the loop. Especially in the loop.
The noticing is the practice. And you’re already doing it.